Automata is the third track on the audio CD portion of A Player's Primer to the Outlands.
Transcript[]
- Mimir: Automata is the gate to the plane of Mechanus, the plane of ultimate order. The members of the Council of Anarchy were tracked down, and a discussion of theirs was secretly recorded by me. A small portion of it follows:
- Leggis Scrog: Now remember: when the berk with the mimir comes by here, we pretend we're the Council of Order, so we lure more leatherheads to this stupid town. No slip-ups this time, right, Ravis?
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Pike it, Leggis. You were the sod who slipped up last time.
- Leggis Scrog: And how do you figure that?
- Ravis Corcuncewl: You and your stinkin' accent. Puttin' on the 'oh, I'm so holier than thou' act that you practically fell over your own soddin' tongue.
- Leggis Scrog: Paugh! What a bunch of wash.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Help me out here, Aurach.
- Aurach the Fair: Right, Ravis. Don't try to put the blame where it don't belong, Leggis. And both of you remember your parts. Not like last time, right?
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Got that, Leggis?
- Leggis Scrog: (grumbles)
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Shapeshift, Aurach, he's coming!
- Leggis Scrog: Greetings, honored one!
- Mimir Agent: How d'you do.
- Leggis Scrog: Welcome to our fair city. My name is Captain Arstimis, and these are my fellow Councilors: Pelnis the Clockmaker...
- Aurach the Fair, Mimir Agent: (simultaneously) Hello.
- Leggis Scrog: ... and Serafil, priestess of Lei Kung.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: How'd you do?
- Mimir Agent: Nice to meet you.
- Leggis Scrog: Now I understand that you desired a small description of our city for your master.
- Mimir Agent: Ha, indeed!
- Aurach the Fair: (aside to Ravis) Pompous windbag.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: (laughs, quickly covers it up with coughing) Excuse me.
- Mimir Agent: S'quite all right.
- Aurach the Fair: I am Pelnis, and I'm proud to make your acquaintance.
- Mimir Agent: Nice to meet you.
- Leggis Scrog: (aside to Ravis) That was close, I thought she'd forgot to shapechange.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Let me formally introduce myself. I'm Serafil of Lei Kung...
- Mimir Agent: Lovely.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: ... and it falls to me to tell you about our town. First I would like to stress exactly how easy it is to pass through the gate to Mechanus.
- Mimir Agent: Ah.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: There are a few minor forms...
- Leggis Scrog: (aside to Aurach) A few thousand!
- Ravis Corcuncewl: ...So that we can ease the traffic through the gate and ensure proper placement in Mechanus.
- Mimir Agent: Excellent.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Our town is quiet, but there are many exciting features here. If a body's a merchant, we like him to come in with a fat purse —
- Mimir Agent: ... what?
- Ravis Corcuncewl: I mean, a full load of goods, and leave with a fat purse.
- Mimir Agent: Wha... uh... I?
- Leggis Scrog: Well, you blew this one all by yourself, Ravis. Hey, berk. We're the Council of Anarchy.
- Mimir Agent: You—!
- Leggis Scrog: And we've just scragged our peel for your precious mimir.
- Mimir Agent: How dare you!
- Leggis Scrog: Oh, now, don't try to run!
- Ravis Corcuncewl: Make with the dagger, Leggis!
- Mimir Agent: (sounds of a scuffle, a cry of pain, the thud of a body hitting the floor)
- Aurach the Fair: That's just great. We go to all that trouble and you two drop it like a tanar'ri baby. Now we've got to start all over. Hand me that mimir and we'll destroy it.
- Ravis Corcuncewl: I'd like to, but I'm afraid it's dissolvin' away.
- Leggis Scrog: Looks like it's time to change our identities. Again.
External Links[]
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